Well, it's 10:55 pm EST, and I'm here. At home. While I feel like I should be out, committing acts of crime/debauchery, I'm actually not that upset that I'm here. As bad as it sounds, I just got back from a week off from work (note to first timers: always take Christmas off, and a few days before or after New Year's, if you have the time), so my body is not used to the early rising and boring days again. I've been extremely tired lately, not only because I have to readjust again, but because I don't sleep well anyway. Seriously, is it so hard to ask for like 7 hours of quality shut-eye? Most nights, if they're not weekends, involves me laying down and waking up numerous times overnight. I think it's because my bed is a little too small for me now, or it's losing it's comfortability (invented a new word), but ever since college, the quality of sleep I get during the week leaves a lot to be desired. I've tried numerous techniques to help, to no avail. I may have to start drinking before bed, but I know that can only lead me to problems down the road, so I guess I'll just tough it out. But it leads me to be exhausted all day. I get by, I think because my body is used to it at this point, although it's not exactly a good thing. Oh well.
The reason I'm writing is because I want to let all the two readers out there about my 2009 plans. I hesitate to call them "resolutions," because I'd be more inclined to break them, and resolutions are overrated anyway. No one ever carries them out. They just say them to make themselves feel some sense of accomplishment, when in reality, they never plan to follow through on them in the first place. But me? I'm all about changing 2009 for the better. I told myself at the end of 2007 that 2008 would be "my year." I spent last New Year's in a Brooklyn apartment with no indoor heat surrounded by people I didn't know. I ended up sleeping in a camping chair with my coat on, swearing to myself this would never happen again. Well this year could be worse. Granted, I'm warm and around my family, but I still feel like I should be doing something, anything, even if it was sitting in my basement with a few people drinking beers. I'm only 23 (can't believe I'm almost 24...yikes). I feel like I should be out "tearing it up" like a lot of other people my age. But while I did not call/text/IM/strip-a-gram anyone, no one contacted me either. I guess I just expected to be notified of something. So partially my own fault. I probably could have stirred something up, but at this point, whatever.
But I need 2009 to be the year. The year things turn around for me. So here's my three "New Year's Goals" for 2009:
1. Move out. I was all about this awhile ago. Almost did it too. But after weighing my options, I decided against it. Since then, I've bought a (used) car, which set my finances back a bit, but still have something in there. While I really want my independence, it's mainly my commute. While an hour and a half doesn't sound that bad, try doing that everyday for a year and a half. I'm really looking into the Jersey City area right now...not in New York, but close to the city, close to home. And would cut my commute over half. Prices are reasonable; comparable to NY, but you get more space. I think that moving out will help with my other two goals...
2. New job. This and moving out are a tossup, but at the end of the day, I can work here if I had to. Now, don't get me wrong, that place all of a sudden hasn't become the Playboy Mansion and I never want to leave. I had another one of those "why am I here" moments recently; for every good day there's two bad days. I had another run-in with this piece of trash employee. Now this guy has given me a hard time since I started; and for some reason, my boss keeps making me do projects for him. Well, since he's a huge moron and has the IQ of a jar of cherries, he gave me some static about some question someone else asked. He just doesn't get that I'm trying to help him. I really need to tell this asshole off. I'm not worried about getting in trouble anymore. After being there so long, I realized they only fire people if they're 1) chronically late or 2) kill someone...maybe. It's days like that where I could leave in a minute's notice, and not feel the least bit of remorse. It's like a zoo there; I've explained that enough I think in past posts. They try to be professional but it's run like an out-of-control nursery. Get me out of there sometime before the year is over, or I may just jump in front of a train. And I can do arrange for that too.
3. Improve my romantic life. I think if one of the above works out (fuck it, let's be positive and say it will) things with the ladies will pick up. 2008 was kind of an off year; it was like a veteran on a sports team: while certainly not pathetic, it was clear there needs to be a change or upgrade with room for improvement. Whether it was getting numbers and never receiving call backs (that happened about 3 times), messing up somewhere (at least twice), or never getting beyond a first date (once), the ladies were harsh to this guy. I really think it'll be a lot easier to meet people if I'm not still at home. Because nothing says mood-killer like "Hey, want to come back to my parents house? In northern New Jersey?"
I'm going to do everything in my power to make one of these happen. It'll help to make 2009 at least a good year, and not a tolerable one. It's 11:47...13 more minutes left of 2008, and I can't say I'm too disappointed to see it go. Bring on 2009 now. Happy New Year.
