Wakeup Call

Well, it finally happened. I don't know if I was expecting it or not, but I guess all my laziness and disgust with my job has finally come back to bite me in the ass. Lately, I've been drifting, mostly because my boss has been gone for a week, but also because I've stopped caring. I stopped caring a long time ago, and was doing alright. I still got my work done. But over the past few days, it seems like I'm not getting anything accomplished. I've been putting things off and forgetting to do other things...and it all came to a head today. After my stand-in boss asked me if I had taken care of the few outstanding issues that came up, I told him no. Thinking nothing of it, I was about to go back to staring at my computer and reading old e-mails or The Office quotes, he threw a curveball at me and asked if I wanted to "take a walk." Everyone knows this is never good, only if it's a really hot female in a club, and she's drunk. My boss is neither, so I knew I was in trouble. As I walked down the small corridor to a conference room, I thought to myself, "This must be what Death Row feels like," obviously blowing things out of proportion. I knew I'd be getting talked to, I just didn't expect him to say it. He's one of the cooler older guys on the floor; older than me, but still fairly young enough to not take things too seriously. The only problem is, he's a real stickler for details. He'll grill you with 100 questions and you'll have an answer to, oh, maybe 3 of them. But as long as you have some type of answer, it's fine. Today, I had none. He basically took me aside and sat me down. I don't remember all the dialogue exchanged over the course of those 10 minutes or so, but he pretty much summed up how I haven't been getting as much work done as I should be, I've been talking on the phone too much (and others have complained about it) and just generally been slacking off. I have to admit, I am guilty as charged for all of those. I put things off until the end of the day or the next day because that is the beauty of what I do: it can always wait. But perhaps I got a little too complacent. A little too comfortable. I guess if I cared more, it'd show. The problem is, I don't. I really hate this place and most of the people in it. And now it's showing. I really just want to know who else had a problem with me. I think it could have just been a scare tactic to get me to focus more, but who knows. And the phone: one other co-worker, who switched jobs at the beginning of the year, seemingly has nothing to do but call me at least 3 times per day, at about 10 minutes (minimum) per call. Now, granted, I bait him by listening and sharing an occasional laugh, but I really need to go on a "diet" from him, as another co-worker said to me. Just by weening myself off those calls will get me back in my boss's good graces fairly fast. I would try harder, if people and projects didn't give me such a hard time. I have over 10 active projects I'm working on, and none have been easy. The people I deal with on these projects are some of the dumbest, most disrespectful, and rude people I've ever had the displeasure of dealing with. Maybe if they were a little more helpful, I'd be a little more willing to do my job. But combine their overall idiocy with my lack of caring, and you have a bad beat. I didn't even take his sit-down with me personal; he was right, after all. I really took it more as a wakeup call to get out of what I'm doing. This is clearly not for me. And I've been trying for months now to get out, but it's not as simple as you'd think. I have little experience in what I want to do, and that hurts me right there. I could go on and on, but it's like beating a dead horse. I need to get out. And after becoming obsessed with The Office, it really just encompasses everything that's wrong with cubicle life. And Jim, one of my all-time favorite characters now, said it best.

"Because right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train."