Today I had training in "ethics." Essentially, I had to be able to discern between what was a "good" decision and what was a "bad" one. For three hours I had to hear people in this class ask the most asinine questions for the most ridiculous situations (all those adjectives were necessary). Like, "If it's a friend of a friend, and they're our friend, is it OK to take a dollar from them?" The moderators answered each question like it was the smartest question ever asked in the world. The most annoying part? Besides having to sit uncomfortably in a plastic chair and almost dozing off (the only way I stayed awake was when I started to sway to my right and I felt drool coming out of my mouth; I have this problem where I do this when I sleep sitting up. It's disgusting, but I can't help it. It sprung me right up though, and I remained awake the rest of the time. So maybe it was a good thing.) The worst part was this woman who sat in front of me. She was one of those people who talked out loud, loud enough for everyone around her to hear her, but quietly enough so the moderators couldn't hear her. She began her afternoon at the meeting by exclaiming, "Can you believe this is four hours? You know how busy I am? How busy I am?" She repeated "busy" and "I" at least four times. No one seemed to listen, but she continued on with brilliant comments like, "I'd drive that car" (when the instructor asked what we'd do if we found a new car in our driveway), or "Now he's milking it" (the instructor just kept talking). That last comment I agreed with; it was like he enjoyed having us sit there and literally melt out of our seats. After three hours I felt like I went three rounds in a prizefight; mentally and physically exhausted.
I dodged a huge bullet today. I don't want to get into it, because it would reveal what I do, but let's just say things have a way of working their way out. What pissed me off though is that some people just don't ever come through. You help them out, they still find a way to let you down. Not in life, just in this job. I help this guy out, he shows his gratitude by basically spitting in my face. Fuck that.
But I really wasn't worried; I have come to the conclusion I can do 80% work here and still get the job done, so why even give all my energy to anything? My boss was kind of yelling at me, and I could care less. I just do what I can and that's it. No more going the extra mile. You don't get anything for it, the job's really not that important. My boss works weekends and holidays. And for what? An extra few bucks and a pat on the head from management? There, the more you put in, the more work and shit you get, so why subject yourself to it? This job is wayyy too unimportant to devote that much of your life to it. If you do, you're a fool. And clearly need to get laid or get a life.
It's sad to come to the realization that your job sucks, but the place is such a joke that you'd literally have to light the building on fire to get fired. I like to think I'm fairly superstitious, but this is the total truth. If you can yell at your boss and get away with it, you know the job is bullshit. I was devastated to hear that another job I applied for fell through; but it gives me perseverance to continue the good fight. Because I view my job as the enemy; I must slay it before it consumes me. If I stay here longer than six months I'll be very upset. I don't want to be someone that stays in a job for 30 years for job security or because I grow complacent with it. That's how so many people are there. They wish they could get out but they don't have the energy or just don't care. And they still complain. I'm a firm believer that you can always change your stars, no matter how old or how late in life. It's just how much of yourself you're willing to dedicate to it. So let's hope my stars change. Because I really can't take it anymore. But for now, I have to keep a smile on my face and my head down. Someone's gotta pay for my beer money.
No comments:
Post a Comment