How exciting is it that this is a short work week? There's nothing better for a desk jockey than to hear "holiday" and "half day" in the same week. It's like dying and going to heaven at the same time. But even with short weeks, always come a lot of stress. I don't know what it is, but bosses and management tend to spring everything on you all at the same time, causing massive amounts of headaches. When we should be coasting into the early weekend, we're brought to a sudden and extreme halt.
In my case this week, it's been relatively slow. Although today is just Monday. We still have tomorrow and half of Wednesday. Now that the wonderkind girl that sits in front of my boss is, GASP, out all week, guess who becomes the resident whipping boy? I have some lashes on my back already, but nothing Roots-like (was that inappropriate? I couldn't think of anything else). Luckily for me, I had answers for everything she threw at me, so I was OK. Rule #1 of Cubicle Survival: Always getting a rebound off a tough shot. Even if it's a completely bullshit answer, you're still safe because you gave them something. And that's all you need, usually. Unless they grill you...then you may have to face the fire. But enough cliches.
The big bomb that was dropped today was that I will be moving. Not in my personal life (damn you, college loans), but my desk is getting moved. I'm moving to the other side of the world (or floor, but trust me, it's just as epic). Due to the higher ups "reshuffling" the unit, who is the first casualty? The mentally unbalanced black woman who threatens co-workers with violence and screams at her boss? Of course not (besides, she was moved already). The annoying complaining shrew of a woman who sits beside me, who if complaining didn't exist, would cease to be able to speak? Definitely not. And with the Rookie of the Year untouchable, it leaves 'ol me. The lowest one on the totem pole. I liked my desk. I liked my setup. My desk was in a great place: I could see the action that took place in front of me and people watch. But I also could see/hear what was going on behind me, most of the time. So if I was busy on match.com (Never was...but I hear people did go on), I could quickly minimize and go back to Microsoft Word.
But anyway, when this was told to me today, I really had no reaction. At this point nothing surprises me at this job anymore. If they told me I'd be relocated to Africa, I'd start to pack my bags. Things are run so half-heartedly around there, "Kid Nation" could probably do a better job (and install a kick-ass root beer bar). Their priorities are all screwed up. Instead of fixing the problem (or cutting out the cancer on something), they just simply put a band aid on it and hope it heals. And obviously, when you're dealing with public money and with that many employees, that's just not going to cut the mustard. But who am I? I just have to go with the flow and do what I'm told. Hierarchy is a bitch, but what can you do.
Where I'm moving is not desirable either. If it was near attractive women or a fun group, that's one thing. But I'm moving by people who are crotchety and unwilling to help. One guy will rat you out to the bosses if you get out of line. So I'll be only saying "Good morning" to him. The other basically washed his hands of a project I needed help on. Even though he did it previously. And I was new. Like they say, forgive, but never forget. I'll miss wandering and chatting with the youngins over in my section, but I can still do my rounds. Just not as frequently.
But in more upbeat news, I've seemed to get my spirit back. After a previous job I applied for gave me a tease and ultimately let me down, I read an article from my favorite magazine, Men's Health (had to plug it) today while working out. It was a pretty straightforward article about a guy trying to make the Dallas Cowboys roster as essentially a walk-on. It wasn't really the athlete that got me motivated; it was the language the author used. It was like he was speaking directly to me. I know that this job isn't for me, and there's no reason to ever stop trying. Because if this missed internship has told me anything, it's that I do have something to offer. I think I tend to overanalyze and underestimate myself. Maybe I'm a realist; maybe I'm just pessimistic. I haven't decided yet. I always go into a situation with low expectations; because when you think like that, you can never be let down. It's always worked for me. But now I feel like I shouldn't sell myself short. I was discouraged and unwilling to take another risk and be let down. But after reading this article, I felt a renewed sense of initiative, if that makes sense. I'm going to get a better job, something I like. I will not be one of those "lifers" who looks back 30 years from now and wonders "What if." I want to be the guy who says, "I did." If it takes a paycut and more hours, so be it. No one should ever feel like they can't change the course of their lives. And since I'm young, this is the time when I have the financial and economical freedom to switch positions. Like a quarterback, I can still call an audible before the play is called. It's once that play is called that I have to make a decision. But you can never win without at least going deep once. Read this article, and maybe you can be as inspired as I was:
http://www.menshealth.com/cda/article.do?site=MensHealth&channel=guy.wisdom&category=life.lessons&conitem=6787ef56737f5110VgnVCM20000012281eac____
"Everyone has a dream. Most of us never realize that dream. It hovers before us like a star over water (or green AstroTurf), luring us on. The prospect of lunging forward and taking hold of that dream is a startling one, maybe even frightening. (What if you miss? What if you don't? What will you dream about if your dream becomes a reality?) But when the moment of opportunity arrives, it's the courage to make that lunge, regardless of the outcome, that separates the achievers from the mediocre."
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